July 10, 2019

Let's talk about WEIGHT GAIN.

So - you finally lost the weight, and you’re feeling more confident in your skin. Clothing fits right; jeans aren’t suffocating you anymore; maybe you’re finally comfortable to wear a sports bra at the gym. You get so confident that you’re at a low weight that, in fact, you find yourself getting a LITTLE looser with your diet. You might start saying yes to drinks with the girls, having more bites of appealing foods, going out to restaurants more and maybe even skipping out on the cardio…all because you “can” right?

Suddenly, the aftershock hits. You’re feeling bloated again. Maybe you blame it on digestive issues, and start covering up and wearing more discreet clothing, still enjoying just “a little” more than you normally would. You’re still going to the gym and doing cardio, but aren’t hitting your portions as accurately as you used to. Clothing fits tighter; leggings start pinching your hips; bras feel like they’re suffocating you. When you wake up, your stomach doesn’t seem flat anymore and you can hardly see your ab definition. You’re giving more and more into cravings because you just aren’t feeling motivated. Your digestion is fine so maybe, you think, it’s your period…it’s coming… yes, that must be it! Bottom line: you aren’t feeling yourself.

This blogpost is all about weight gain.

How to mentally deal with those extra pounds when you’re very body conscious.
What to do when clothing is feeling tight
How to separate your overall mood from your body image (aka how to not feel angry every morning when you look in the mirror)
How to start losing weight again (optional)

KEEP IN MIND

1. Nobody notices it like you do. We are our worst critics - this is a fact. Of course, a significant amount of weight gain will be noticeable, but if we’re talking 3-10 lbs, no one else will notice but you. A little more and big whoop - a passing thought through their head that isn’t that important, at all.

2. Gaining weight doesn’t make you less attractive/sexy/smart. Don’t just do your hair and makeup when you’re at a low weight… you deserve to put yourself together at any weight. Put yourself together and you will feel more confident…

3. If you hyper-focus on it, it won’t help. If you eat well, meal prep, and make weight loss activities just another part of your day then you’ll see that the pounds will come off. If you approach your weight loss goals urgently then you will be stressed, and therefore more hungry. If you approach your goals in a calm, relaxing, and non-urgent manner then you will flourish.

HOW YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF

I used to have a friend who would call herself names like disgusting, gross, ugly.… I picked up on her language and soon I found that I was calling myself those names without even thinking about it twice. The issue with this is, even if you’re exaggerating, you end up believing what you think. This can lead to body dysmorphia, not to mention it can be very difficult to maintain your goals when you’re the number one source of negativity in your own life.

Stop beating yourself up and talking down to yourself. It is NEVER ok to use words like “fat”, “disgusting”, “lazy”, “gross” or “failure”. First of all, positive self talk is key to getting out of a funk like this. If you only have bad expectations for yourself, then how are you supposed to start changing?

Speak to yourself like you would speak to someone you love. If it’s too hard, fake it till you make it, but please, the negative self-talk needs to stop.

If your friend gained weight and she asked for your honest opinion, saying, “Yes, you gained, but you can definitely lose it again if you stay focused this week” would be a great & honest answer. But, if you called her a fat pig that doesn’t deserve to eat, do you think that would motivate her? Probably not. So why do that to yourself?

REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS WHEN GETTING BACK ON TRACK

We live up to how others expect us to be. For example, in elementary school, it is important for teachers to have close relationships with students and expect only good from them. This way, the kid lives up to expectations and wants to impress the teacher by behaving well, doing their work, etc…If a student is constantly getting in trouble for no reason at school, and is being called lazy at home, this is the narrative the kid will live up to. Similarly, if a teacher has unrealistic expectations for you (for example, in college) such as an eight-chapter reading when you have 4 other classes, then sometimes you just, well, crash. give up. and lose hope.

How the hell does this relate to your mood when gaining weight?

Well, first of all, if you have unrealistic expectations for yourself:

No carbs until I lose the weight

2 hours of cardio a day

1000 calories max today

then you will crash and give up because these rules you are setting for yourself are not sustainable. If anything, you may find yourself being able to follow for the first few days and then eventually giving up and crashing (aka overeating, bingeing and feeling like a failure)

Second of all, like I mentioned before, how you speak to yourself matters. If you tell yourself you’re a failure then you will live up to that.

It’s important to have balance and not expect yourself to be perfect In the fat loss bible there are two different ways to treat yourself.

CHANGE YOUR MINDSET

Gaining weight can really affect our mood. Many people simply aren’t happy when they aren’t body confident. This is a mental game.

This may sound preachy or annoying, but listen up. You need to change that mindset. Your new focus right now should be to appreciate your body for its functions rather than its appearance. Yup, hard as fuck! But, like I said before, fake it till you make it.

Turn“I hate my fat knees” into thank god for my knees that allow me to walk, to squat at the gym, that allow me to be active.

Turn “I hate my fat hips” into I need this fat on my hips to have a healthy baby. These hips represent being a healthy, sexy women.

Think about it like that. It’s important to stay positive and motivate yourself, have high expectations and not beat yourself up.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO LOSE THE WEIGHT IF YOU DON’T NEED TO

Do not lose the weight if you are supposed to have it on and you’re at a healthy weight
Do not lose the weight solely because of societal pressure.
Do not feel pressure to lose the weight if you struggled with an eating disorder (ED).

LOOKING IN THE MIRROR

Gaining weight can really affect our mood, especially first thing in the morning. Many people simply aren’t happy when they aren’t body confident. This is a mental game.

How to not feel angry every morning when you look in the mirror.

When you wake up, try not to automatically body-check. Try your best not to. Also, take the scale out of your room.
The following exercise is meant to keep you focused on being kind to yourself. Do it often, daily if possible, searching for new ways to compliment yourself each time.
Stand in front of the mirror and point out five things that you love about your appearance and personality.
What I like/love/appreciate about my outer appearance: 1, 2, 3
What I like/love/appreciate about my inner self/personality: 1, 2, 3

TIGHT CLOTHING:

Wear clothing that fits you. Stop wearing a size down and feeling like absolute shit because it’s tight.
It’s not a horrible idea to buy a size up. If your undies are digging into your skin you owe it to yourself to buy a new pair.
It’s as simple as that.

THE SCALE

If it keeps you on track and motivates you daily and that works for you - then, great!
If it makes you want to bawl your eyes out every time you step on it, then get rid of it for a while or maybe even forever.
Give yourself time to get back on track then hop back on the scale to see if you’re making progress.
Progress selfies are another great way to track the changes in your body, as comparing pictures side by side can give you a good idea of where you’re at as the scale fluctuates.

START LOSING WEIGHT AGAIN

If the weight you gained wasn’t unnecessary (necessary = recovering from ED, health reasons, etc), then you can always lose it again! It’s not the end of the world; it’s just another journey to embark on… you’ve done it before and you CAN do it again.

Let’s get mindful as fuck.

Pinpoint it: What is making/made you gain weight? What have your habits around food and exercise been like?

Is it cocktails every second night because it’s summer?

Is it eating restaurant food way too often?

Is it mindlessly snacking after work?

Is is not prepping your food?

Is it the emotional eating?

WRITE IT DOWN!

Pinpoint it: What were you doing that made you lose weight before the weight gain? What were you doing when you were on track?

Were you intermittent fasting?

Were you meal prepping?

Were you only eating 1-2 snacks a day?

Were you going to the gym consistently at a certain time?

Were you walking everywhere instead of ubering?

Were you doing hot pilates 5x a week?

Were you getting 8 hours of sleep/night?

Were you carrying around your water bottle with you?

WRITE IT DOWN!

NOW, GET BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE DOING WHEN YOU WERE ON TRACK. It’s as simple as that. If you were never able to find your sweet spot, then consider The Fat Loss Bible. I know I sound like a broken record but I’m telling you it’s life changing.

OTHER QUICK TIPS:

WORKOUT TO FEEL AMAZING AND LET THE REST FOLLOW. Stop focusing on the calories burned during your workout or how you’ll look. I want you to focus on how you feel before vs. how you feel after. Exercise is so known for burning calories but what about the rest of its benefits? Its ability to boost mood, be good for your heart, etc. Once you start working out to feel good, the rest will follow.

THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO FEEL SEXY FIT AND CONFIDENT. Check out chapter __ in The Fat Loss Bible for the best tips and tricks on feeling confident, sexy and healthy at no matter what weight you’re at.

DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS

REMIND YOURSELF THAT IT’S THE INSIDE THAT COUNTS

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO VALUE CHARACTER NOT APPEARANCE